A Brief Update from the Board - Re: Recent Complaints About Content

We've recently received an alarming number of unexpected complaints about our content. Evidently, people are sharing it with their colleagues, and some people have become so engrossed with our work that they're unable to do anything else until they've read the whole site. It's such effective, value-creating content that it literally prevents people from doing their job. We just wanted to give two major updates in response to this growing phenomenon:

First, we wanted to let you all know that we're starting to get in touch with clinical psychologists to install what are referred to as "thrill spills" in the body of the text. These are visual patterns within a post that, while invisible to the naked eye, trigger a chemical release that allows the reader to come down from a psycho-physiological high, while leaving the content of the text generally unaffected. It's well-established but complicated stuff, so it'll take a little time to work through.

Second, we want to stress that this is still a relatively rare reaction. Only about 48% of our readers tend to spiral out of control, and even then, they're back to where they need to be in a few days. Furthermore, any pending criminal charges are usually dismissed on account of temporary insanity.

Anyway, keep enjoying the site, and have a great day!

The Board